Lucky numbers: how to win at Powerball

I didn’t win it.

But someone in the land of 10,000 lakes (ticket sold in Dakota County if you’re wondering) won the Powerball last night. That lucky person or person(s) will take home a little over $83 million dollars after taxes. The odds of winning are 1 in 195,249,054, which is staggering to say the least. But when you think about it, you can prolly improve those odds by not playing combinations of numbers. Even though statistically it could happen, how many times have you seen the Powerball go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and then the powerball? Answer… never.

By getting rid of those sequential combinations, get rid of all combinations that show a pattern like all evens/odds, same increments like 4, 8, 12…, get rid of all previous winning combinations, getting a totally random combination could improve your odds to 1 in 150,000,000 I would think. Good luck.

Well, this is how I look at it. Instead of it being 1 in impossible odds of winning, I figure someone has to win it, might as (not mind as or minus as I’ve seen according to FB language) well be me. Those odds then decrease significantly. They get even better when you play easy pick because now I figure it’s just a matter of timing. Most Powerball winners come from the easy pick (randomly chosen by the computer). So if the computer is doing it consistently it’s just like a slot machine. Whoever was there at the right time is going to win. So that guy in front of you who got out of line to go grab a Yoohoo, which allowed you buy your easy pick 30 seconds earlier could have cost you $83 million and you’ll never know. Freaking Yoohoo!

Anyway, I only play Powerball or MegaMillions when it’s big. I don’t want to settle for $10 million… lol. I know I’m not going to win, but if I did I want it to be filthy big. I have already imagined what I would do with it. Imagine is prolly not a strong enough word… I have a master plan laid out.

Let’s take last night’s winner who will bank $83 mill. Before I claim the prize, I would contact a top-notch finance lawyer who would set up my contracts for me. I have a buddy accountant in mind and would retain his services by doubling his current salary just so he can do my taxes every year. He could quit his current job and spend more time with family b/c he’ll have one client.. me. My financial planner buddy I would do the exact same thing.

Now I’m going to claim the prize. Don’t expect a press conference because I will remain anonymous. The winner would be me, but announced as some obscure trust called The Likeded Group set up by my top-notch finance lawyer. I don’t want 4^th cousins I’ve never talked to coming out of the woodworks begging me for money. Worse, I don’t want them pressuring my family and guilt-tripping them to give them money (even though Hmong people have big mouths and it would get out eventually). And we’re definitely moving to an undisclosed residence for about a month, most likely some fancy hotel in downtown Minneapolis so we don’t get random people knocking on our door.

Now I’ve got the money. What do I do first? “Two chicks at the same time” (Office Space – great movie). The obvious thing to do is to become debt free right away. Then I would start giving it out. First my side of the family. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. Each would receive $1.5 million. I would then give them $100,000/year so they could quit their jobs and hopefully use their $1.5 million wisely. My parents would get $3 million. Total of $10.5 million gone from the top on immediate family members. My aunts and uncles would get $200K each. I think there are six left from both sides. Cousins get really tricky, but I would give varying amounts up from $25K-$50K depending how close I am to them. So from 1^st cousins and aunts/uncles I’m thinking $1.5 million – gone just like that. So my side trimmed it down to $71 million.

Now the wife’s side. Three sisters and one brother. Again $1.5 million each and $100K per year. Mother and father-in-law, $3 million in the bank. Will try to do the uncles/aunts/cousins similarly, but her side is not just some average family tree. No, it’s like that freaking Mother Tree in the movie Avatar (another pretty good movie if you’re bored on a Friday night). So I’m budgeting about $2 mill for them, which brings the Hang side total to $11 million. Now down to $60 million.

Friends… can’t forget friends. I have some really good, life-long friends I would definitely hook up. Mortgages would be paid for. I would pay for college educations for some other buddies, pay for cars, credit cards, etc. We will have one awesome poker night that’s for sure. Guesstimating $3 million… down to $57 million.

Churches… I know times are tough and so are tithes so there are few I have in mind. $3 million (accountant buddy should see about tax deductions). Charities… I have a few in mind as well like the homeless, anything with kids, cancer research, make-a-wish, etc. $2 million.

$52 million left.

We’re moving. I love having four seasons, but not 3 months at a time. We’ll either buy a place or build in the Monterrey, CA area. Guessing $5 million will do… trust me I have looked (you gotta have a master plan). Great weather year-round and most importantly great golfing i.e. Pebble Beach. Bam! Down to $47 million. After purchasing toys, installing putting green, Winnebago, furnishing home I’m guessing $2 million total will be spent.

So that leaves $45 million to live off for the rest of our lives. If my financial planner buddy diversifies our money in the right/safe places I am thinking we could easily get 5% overall every year. That’s ultra-conservative and still yields $2.25 million every year. Giving my siblings $900K per year and paying my accountant, financial planner, and lawyer their salaries/services would be about $400K a year. That means I could spend $1 million a year on living expense and never have to touch that $45 million nest egg!!!

So Powerball/MegaMillions will surely climb back up eventually and I’ll surely get my easy picks. And sure mo’ money mo’ problems as they say. So if one of you Dakota County friends of mine won last night, I’ll gladly share in your burden.