Change

What's great about Facebook is catching up with people from my past. Some still live in the small town I grew up in while others are making their mark around the world. Some who were too hungover to go to church during college have finally found God. Some who were immature are raising families.

Can we change?

To some extent, but maybe we just make better decisions as we get older. I am still sarcastic now as when I was teenager a lifetime ago. I still love sports and competing. For the most part, I am still who I always was and will be.

I'm bringing up "change" because I think it's something we keep telling ourselves we need to do. Maybe we can physically change by working out and eating better. Maybe we can change habits and the things we do that are harmful to us and others. Maybe we can work on our communication skills. But can we really change who we are? I don't think so.

What we can do is evolve. We learn from our mistakes, but I don't think we can necessarily fix our faults. As I get older I know more about myself and my limitations. I don't want to make it seem like I use that as an excuse not to better myself, but it's easier to know where you're going when you know where you are.

I do believe that life events like getting married and having kids can affect you. But I'm not confident in saying it changes you. How you were before these events is how you will react after them. For example, having kids doesn't make you softer. It means you were a softy to begin with and your kids fleshed that out. If you were an S.O.B. before kids, guess what, you're going to treat your kids like crap. If you have trust issues before marriage, having the greatest spouse will not completely alleviate those mixed feelings.

I have noticed that the more I accept myself for who I am, the better I can tolerate others. I realize I have flaws and understand we all have our quirks. So no matter how much we want people in our lives to change... no matter how many ultimatums, threats, promises we can pose to them, the truth is they're not going to change. If you can accept them despite their flaws, than your relationship with them can begin to evolve.

So if you're introverted and think your life would be better if you were more extroverted, I have news for you. It's not. Why put yourself in awkward situations only to make yourself feel worse. You don't see a Geo Metro hauling a trailer cause it's not supposed to. Stay who you are... it's the other people around you that need to accept your high gas mileage and constantly being in their blind spot.

So what about the jackasses out there? I hate to say it, but their jackassedness will always be there. Maybe they can evolve and be less of a jackass. I understand that you'll alway have your jackass ways. But chances are I didn't accept your friend request.