3 minute mark

I have noticed that my favorite part of quite a few songs happens around the 3 minute mark. Maybe it’s the solo that comes in, the beat takes a different turn, or the chorus kicks in. Whatever it is, it’s the part that you wait for the most. Don’t believe me? Check yourself. It’s not like some unexplained phenomena and when you think about it makes sense. Most songs are about 4 minutes long. They start slow and build up to the finish. Well, actually they build up to the 3 minute mark and then it tapers off to the finish.

Anyway, I’m bringing this up because I think life has a way of imitating art. As we navigate through our own lives we may wonder when things get better. We may like how life is going, got no complaints, but maybe we’re still waiting for something big to happen… that 3 minute mark. It could be a promotion, vacation, birthday, holiday, some get-together, or any kind of a fishing/shopping/spa/golf trip. Whatever it might be, it’s the moment that gets us through the days and weeks of monotony.

But maybe you don’t like how things are going. Life isn’t easy and you’ll find yourself in stretches of bad songs. The good news is the track your currently on will have an end and a new one will begin. It may not be as easy as hitting a button, but you do have some control over the soundtrack of your life.  

So wait for it… the 3 minute mark is right around the corner. And when it comes, enjoy it. Still don't believe me?

Coldplay - Fix You

3rd Eye Blind - The Background

Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dying





The Killers - Human

Just add water

We live in a “just add water” society. We want the quick and easy. We have no time it seems to sit under the cork tree and smell the flowers like Ferdinand. It’s too bad because we don’t know what we’re missing out on.

For example…

Cell phones… a very useful tool, but at what cost? I remember back even in high school calling friends from your home phone (having a cordless was a luxury by the way) to arrange a time to meet. You had to trust that they were going to be where they said they’d be. More often than not, they would be there early or on time because you didn’t want to leave the other person hanging. Now-a-days, you show up late after you send them a text to the fact. The person on the other end was counting on them being late anyway and planned accordingly. Maybe that’s why we need all these conveniences in life (cell phones, instant coffee, fast food, etc.) because we just don’t have time since we’re constantly playing catch up. But maybe these conveniences in life are the reasons why we’re constantly behind.

We also lose face-to-face time. Who needs to meet when you can pick up your cell and call that person? It’s even worse now with texting. Who needs to actually hear that person’s voice when you can send a text? Just when you think we couldn’t get more detached, it has. Why text when you can see their tweet or status update? Pretty soon will have surrogates (like the movie with Bruce Willis) doing things for us.

What worries me is this is how are kids grow up. Jake was shocked when he found out we didn’t have cell phones growing up. He couldn’t even imagine what life must have been like. It was great to be honest. I didn’t have a PS3 or Wii like he does to distract me. I had to go outside and throw a tennis ball against the stairs for three hours to work on fielding ground balls. I had to go shoot some hoops to work on my jumper. I rode my bike all day long and got some exercise. It’s no wonder obesity in children is becoming a bigger epidemic.

Television… it’s prolly worse than crack. With unlimited channels to watch, anyone can find anything at any time (On Demand). I had five channels growing up. Sometimes we had to add tinfoil to the bunny ears to get better reception. Now it’s in High-Definition. Why pay $150 to go to the game when you can get better angles and cheaper food from the comfort of your own home? But you can’t duplicate the energy of a crowd, see the receiver breaking free from the secondary, get the sudden rush from a nearby foul ball… you can’t replicate these things even if 3D is the new thing. I am predicting one day that television will be 3D holograms. It’ll be something you lay down on a flat surface that projects an image upwards like something out of Star Wars. You can forget about ever going to a game when that happens and the PS6 will have some pretty tight games.

I don’t want my kids to be reliant on technology to do things and think for them. But it’s not their fault. I enjoy these conveniences too because maybe I feel I had a harder upbringing that required more imagination and now I can just switch to auto-pilot. Doesn’t sound like living to me.

It’s not just technology, it’s everything in life where we can take a shortcut. Yes, it’s more convenient and easier, but there is something about learning how to do it… getting your hands dirty. All these things that are meant to make our life easier have drawn us further and further from the true experience. We’re getting the condensed version and pretty soon we trick ourselves into thinking that it’s the original.

My kids love pancakes. Because my wife and I are lazy, we buy the “just add water” mix. They’re not awful and my kids like them, but this weekend when I opted for the buttermilk version that required eggs and milk, I couldn’t believe how much better they tasted. Jake said they were better than Perkins. Better than Perkins! It took all but 1 egg and ¾ cup of milk to make that experience 100 times more enjoyable. Not everything is going to be this easy to get better results, but I can tell you that what you get out of it will so much more meaningful.

I am not saying throw away your cell phones and go back to the black and white television, but if you have a choice, choose the one that is more difficult and you’ll be better for it. I promise you this, I’ll never “just add water” again.

Letter to a son

I am way behind on these (my only one I've done so far) and need to do them for Mason as well.

9/8/09

Dear Jake,

Mommy wants us to start a tradition of writing you and Mason letters for your birthday so that one day you both can read them. We’ve been meaning to do this when you turned one, so I have a lot of catching up to do. Since this is my first letter, I don’t know how it’s going to go. I imagine that I’ll write you as if you’re a 5 year-old, but realize that you’ll be reading this as an adult someday. So when you do end up reading this, picture yourself at five and your daddy much skinnier and younger and hopefully with the same amount of hair.

First of all, Bud (I call you Bud and Dude a lot and hope that never changes) Happy Birthday! You are 5 today!!! I can’t believe it’s been five years since your Mommy and I brought you home from the hospital. You were born on a beautiful, sunny day in Minneapolis, MN on September 8^th, 2004. We checked in to the hospital around 6 PM. I had to go back down to park the car since I was parked illegally. When I came back up, you must have been so excited to see us because Mommy had already started delivering you. No more than 10 minutes later, you came into the world and forever changed our lives.

Now I had heard other Mommies and Daddies say the greatest moment in their lives is having their children. I never really knew what that meant until I finally saw you and heard your cries. I was overcome with emotion and super excited to finally meet you. I was scared to be a Daddy because you didn’t come with a manual, but of course I don’t really pay attention to manuals anyway. But Jakey, you made being a Daddy come naturally.

You were a very good baby and didn’t give us too many problems. We gave you baths on the bathroom countertop and you would stare at yourself in the mirror wondering who that cute baby was. We didn’t give you a haircut for quite a few months and you had some crazy hair, Dude. You were definitely my boy cause you sweat like Daddy. Everything we did with you was new…  your first smile, first laugh, first rollover, first tooth, first whatever was like a miracle.

Years have gone by and you’ve grown up to be an awesome kid. I think it’s more fun for me than it is for you. Mommy and I love your stories and how animated you get explaining things. You still show up in our bed in the middle of the night sometimes, but I don’t mind cuddling next to you. Mason came to us when you were three and you’ve been a great big brother ever since. I want you to always remember that Mason is not only your brother, but your best friend.

For a five year-old, birthdays mostly mean presents. You got a really good one this year with the electric Ford F-150 truck so enjoy it. Now you and your best friend Noah can cruise the cul-de-sac together. Toys and gifts will break down, but I hope you remember that the love your Mommy and I have for you will never go away. I’m excited to see how you will grow up and what kind of person you will become. I already know that you will be good person whatever you decide to do in life. In these five years, you have already made me a better person. So thank you, Son.

Love,

Daddy

Attitude

I am choosing to make today a good one. Enough of getting through another day. I will be productive. I will stay positive.

If you need help choosing what kind of day it's going to be, this song gets me going everytime.

Coldplay - Lovers in Japan (really crank it up at the 2:57 mark)

Where was I ten years ago?

I had been living in St. Paul for about 4 months, and my first job was selling windows, which required me to travel all over the Twin Cities. We only had to report to the office for meetings on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10 AM so I set my alarm for 8 AM the night before, September 10th.

Set to a radio station when it went off, somewhere between reality and dreamland I decoded the deejay mentioning an explosion at the World Trade Center. My mind still drifting in sleep mode, I hit the snooze and quickly thought it must have been the anniversary of the first terrorist attack on the WTC in 1993. Nine minutes later I was awakened again and quickly shut off the radio to hit the shower.

My customary day, as it still does, was to watch Sportscenter while I got ready. While I expected to watch highlights, a ticker at the bottom caught my attention about a plane crashing into the WTC. I quickly turned to CNN and that's when I realized this wasn't an anniversary for the earlier attack.... little did I know this would be an anniversary all to itself. That's where I was... getting ready for work in my bedroom..

I was not sure whether to go to work or stay home so I called the office. My boss insisted the meeting was still on. At this time both towers had been hit making this more and more likely a terrorist attack instead of an accident. I thought about staying home, but since I had only been working for about 2 months, I thought better of it and made my way to work.

I was listening intently to the radio on the commute. The first tower collapsed as I started on my way. Somehow I managed to navigate my way to work. Maybe I was still sleeping I thought. But I knew I wasn't... this was too real. I finally made it to work a little before 10:30. Everyone was huddled around the TV where our meetings were held. I sat down and the second tower collapsed. Someone mentioned this had to be Osama Bin Laden... a name I had never heard before.

At that point in my life, I was more concerned about chasing the American dream. We all were. We took for granted about being able to see someone off at their gate in the airport. We could keep our shoes on and packed anything and everything in our luggage. Al-qaeda could have been a name of a salad dressing for all we knew.

The world was different. Especially in America, we were naive. We thought terrorism only happened in Europe, Israel, and the Middle East. We felt safe and secure. We had hit the snooze button on reality.

But the dream was too good to be true. 9/11 was an awakening. As citizens of this great country that gives us the opportunity to reach our dreams, this one day made us realize that the safety net of those dreams had holes in it.

Amazingly ten years have flown by. Slowly we have mended those holes and created more nets on top of nets. We are different and life won't quite be so innocent. The real question to ask is "How were you before 9/11?"

I can tell you this... I no longer wake up to a morning deejay.

The Curious Case of Peanut Butter

So we were dog sitting my sisters two Yorkies last weekend, Peanut Butter and Jelly, and I am reminded of why I wouldn’t get a pet anytime soon. Before I explain why, let me take you back 10 years ago. My sister and brother-in-law moved to St. Paul the same time I did so we found a place to live together. The dogs were three (Peanut) and two (Jelly) years-old at the time, which put them at 21 and 14 in dog years. They were lively and energetic much like I was as a 20-something. I lived with them for about three years and grew fond of both.

Tiny little Peanut in particular is a very smart dog that could tell you what he wanted if you presented him multiple choices. He would come up to my sister to get her attention. My sister would ask if he wanted some food… nothing… wanted to go outside… nothing… wanted to play… bingo! He would start pawing the ground with all four feet as if to say “Yes.” 

Fast forward to this past weekend. I don’t get to see Peanut often anymore, but when I do he looks the same docile, four-pounder I knew way back when. Before they left for a mini-vacation, my sister let me know that Peanut was having some struggles… couldn’t hear very well and not responsive… moved a little slower than usual. In other words, he was getting old.

So when we noticed bloody paw prints he was leaving, there was cause for concern. I looked at his paws and couldn’t find a cut. He doesn’t do multiple choice anymore so even he couldn’t tell me what was going on. So I thought maybe he got a small cut on his foot and it got better. The next day it happened again. When I went to pick him up to do an inspection, I noticed he hadn’t even moved all day long. I knew this because he was sitting in his pee. The blood was coming from a torn nail it turned out and Peanut was in too much pain to move. So I made my first international call ever (dial 011 first if you ever find yourself in the position) to let me my sister know and what I should do.

Like a concerned mom, my sister told me to take him to the Vet emergency clinic right away since he was in so much pain. My first question was, “Do I need proof of insurance?” (when you have kids, you need insurance). Nope. Just pay out of pocket.

So at 11 PM on Friday night, Peanut and I headed over to the clinic. As I pulled in, I noticed another guy parking at the same time. I was hoping this would take about 30 minutes so I quickly got us in before he and his lyme disease-stricken dog could check-in. I told the gal at the reception desk what was going on and she brought us into a room where she assured me the doctor would see us “as soon as possible.”

When you really think about it, as soon as possible is a very misleading phrase. It gives the receiver hope. We only say as soon as possible when we know it’s not going to be right away. In fact, if it was going to be right away, we would say “right away.” So next time you hear “as soon as possible,” plan for the worse.

Which is what I did… brought the wife’s Nook Color just so I could play Angry Birds. As Peanut and I waited in the room with the door open, I could hear everything that was going on in the other rooms and at the reception desk. A woman was given bad news about her dog and she was crying because she knew what that meant. An assistant went over to the room to see the dog with lyme disease, who checked-in after us by the way.  Thirty minutes into crashing birds into brick and mortar (which is ironic to do at a Vet clinic), a woman that had been waiting a whole ten minutes went to complain at the front desk about how long it was taking. Apparently her cat had just peed on the floor and demanded the drug to ease her cat’s pain. Since it was something so simple, she wanted to go the front of the line apparently. It felt like I was watching Grey’s Anatomy and Marley and Me at the same time.

About an hour into it, the assistant finally took a look at Peanut. She was more concerned about other things like his glaucoma and bloodshot eyes. She addressed a few more things and though I did notice then how cloudy his eyes were, I told her to just fix his toe for now. It felt like a mechanic trying to get me to buy a new car battery, radiator, and shocks even though I was just getting my oil changed. Then I heard it again, “The doctor will see Peanut as soon as possible.”

That was my queue to go eat some refreshments. As I was deciding between the complimentary Milky Way or bag of chips, the gal who was crying earlier got her lifeless dog back. It must have been a small dog like Peanut because they had it in a small white box like something you’d get at the local grocery store deli if you ordered an 8-piece chicken meal. She was balling her eyes as they handed her the box.

Milky Way if you were wondering.

Finally the vet came in. As soon as possible was this time only 30 minutes. He told me the procedure, that it would cost around $350 (for a toe nail!), and that they would do it “right away.” Booyah! I signed a few forms, they took Peanut away, and I went over to the lobby. About an hour later Peanut was back with a bandage on his paw. The receptionist gave me the dreaded words, “We’ll write up the receipt, get you his medicine, and discharge him as soon as possible.” Finally at 2 AM we headed home... the good news was it only cost $240. A pricey pedi if you ask me. (Do you lye critogel?)

Here’s the reason my I wouldn’t get a pet anytime soon. Peanut and I were essentially the same age when we first met. Ten years later I’m a little chubbier, have kids and more on my plate, but I have not gone through a lifetime like Peanut has in such a short period. He’s been on earth for 13 years, which is 91 in dog years. He is nearing the end of his life. I don’t know how people sign up to own a pet knowing that beforehand.

The next night after I had taken his bandage off, he finally strolled over to his bowl of food. With his tongue sticking out (all of his teeth needed to be taken out earlier this year), he slurped his watered down food. I stood there like a personal care assistant in a senior home watching him. It’s a straight line from bowl to bed, but Peanut stumbled and zig-zagged his way back. It was tougher to see him try to negotiate the four-inch climb up his bed. He got up and just about fell back off. After a few grunts he laid down.

It’s sad to know that Peanut is nearing the end especially since it only seemed like yesterday he was looking to play with you. I just hope that Death may not visit him right away, but more like as soon as possible.

(picture of Peanut and Jake as a baby will be posted later)

It's Friday, Friday...

Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend.


Yes, the song is so bad that it's good. But to be honest, Rebecca Black hit the nail on the head with her profound lyrics. It most indeed is Friday.

Now I have not done research on this, but I bet it is safe to say that if you polled (FB idea) the general population, the most popular day of the week is Friday. It's pretty obvious why because it's the end of a long, bitter week (whether your's involves work, school, or staying home) and the start of a well-rewarded weekend.

But if you analyze it closer, we spend the majority of our Fridays trapped until the last class of the day ends or the "yabba dabba doo" moment at 5 PM. We waste most of this day in zombie mode just trying to get through it. If you think about it, you could argue that Saturday is the most popular day. You get the whole day from sun up to sun down to do whatever makes your heart content. No sitting through a boring lecture or worthless work meeting.

But Rebecca's words of wisdom ring true... Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend. The anticipation is sometimes even better than the moment. Being a family man, my weekends do not involve partying or gettin jiggy wit it anymore so my Friday nights and Saturdays are pretty boring. But come 2 hours before closing up shop I feel like I am playing the SuperBowl tomorrow. No matter what my plans may or may not have in store, I so esscited.

That feeling has been there ever since I can remember. Junior high Friday afternoon's before the bell rang at 3:15 consisted of drafting our fantasy baseball players for the video game Baseball Stars on our first-gen Nintendo. We spent study halls, a quick ten minutes between classes, secret discussions while the teacher wrote on the chalk board picking guys like Frank Thomas, Joey "then Albert" Belle, and my all-time favorite player Will Clark (side note - I still do these things this time of the year for fantasy football during work... thank God for technology). When we got to whoever's house we were sleeping at that night, we'd spend almost all night editting the default names to the guys we spent all afternoon picking. The funny thing is we would spend more time on that then actually playing.

During high school, Fridays really meant something too. I can look back at the anticipation of the big game whether it was football, basketball, or baseball. Especially if you played the sport like I did, you could forget about acing that last test on Friday. All this nervous excitement makes it hard to remember the pythagorean theorem.

College... well, in college it was more about the parties. You would ask around during lunch in the commons who was having a party. You would figure out how you were going to get beer and sneak it in to your dorm. If you were smart, you would avoid scheduling Friday afternoon classes altogether. But since you were not a morning person you were stuck with Theories of Art during the Renaissance, learning about the unique brush strokes of some French dude while your buddies already polished off a case of Milwaukee's Best... not that I would know.

Even though my college sucked at parties (another side note - if partying was a program in college, then my college offered an unaccreditted certificate taught by a nun), it was still exciting to think the next epic party was just hours away (yet another side note (side note to the side note - I realize that's two side notes in one sentence and one to recognize them) - epic back then was only a term used by people who played Dungeons and Dragons, but now is considered cool).

Today a Friday for someone slaving away until retirement still holds fondness. Like I said before, I might not be deciding which drinking game to play first or getting ready for a big game, but the anticipation that maybe something I'll never forget could happen reminds me to... Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend. We going to have fun, come on, come on, y'all.

I leave you with this most epic Friday remix.

Lucky numbers: how to win at Powerball

I didn’t win it.

But someone in the land of 10,000 lakes (ticket sold in Dakota County if you’re wondering) won the Powerball last night. That lucky person or person(s) will take home a little over $83 million dollars after taxes. The odds of winning are 1 in 195,249,054, which is staggering to say the least. But when you think about it, you can prolly improve those odds by not playing combinations of numbers. Even though statistically it could happen, how many times have you seen the Powerball go 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and then the powerball? Answer… never.

By getting rid of those sequential combinations, get rid of all combinations that show a pattern like all evens/odds, same increments like 4, 8, 12…, get rid of all previous winning combinations, getting a totally random combination could improve your odds to 1 in 150,000,000 I would think. Good luck.

Well, this is how I look at it. Instead of it being 1 in impossible odds of winning, I figure someone has to win it, might as (not mind as or minus as I’ve seen according to FB language) well be me. Those odds then decrease significantly. They get even better when you play easy pick because now I figure it’s just a matter of timing. Most Powerball winners come from the easy pick (randomly chosen by the computer). So if the computer is doing it consistently it’s just like a slot machine. Whoever was there at the right time is going to win. So that guy in front of you who got out of line to go grab a Yoohoo, which allowed you buy your easy pick 30 seconds earlier could have cost you $83 million and you’ll never know. Freaking Yoohoo!

Anyway, I only play Powerball or MegaMillions when it’s big. I don’t want to settle for $10 million… lol. I know I’m not going to win, but if I did I want it to be filthy big. I have already imagined what I would do with it. Imagine is prolly not a strong enough word… I have a master plan laid out.

Let’s take last night’s winner who will bank $83 mill. Before I claim the prize, I would contact a top-notch finance lawyer who would set up my contracts for me. I have a buddy accountant in mind and would retain his services by doubling his current salary just so he can do my taxes every year. He could quit his current job and spend more time with family b/c he’ll have one client.. me. My financial planner buddy I would do the exact same thing.

Now I’m going to claim the prize. Don’t expect a press conference because I will remain anonymous. The winner would be me, but announced as some obscure trust called The Likeded Group set up by my top-notch finance lawyer. I don’t want 4^th cousins I’ve never talked to coming out of the woodworks begging me for money. Worse, I don’t want them pressuring my family and guilt-tripping them to give them money (even though Hmong people have big mouths and it would get out eventually). And we’re definitely moving to an undisclosed residence for about a month, most likely some fancy hotel in downtown Minneapolis so we don’t get random people knocking on our door.

Now I’ve got the money. What do I do first? “Two chicks at the same time” (Office Space – great movie). The obvious thing to do is to become debt free right away. Then I would start giving it out. First my side of the family. I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. Each would receive $1.5 million. I would then give them $100,000/year so they could quit their jobs and hopefully use their $1.5 million wisely. My parents would get $3 million. Total of $10.5 million gone from the top on immediate family members. My aunts and uncles would get $200K each. I think there are six left from both sides. Cousins get really tricky, but I would give varying amounts up from $25K-$50K depending how close I am to them. So from 1^st cousins and aunts/uncles I’m thinking $1.5 million – gone just like that. So my side trimmed it down to $71 million.

Now the wife’s side. Three sisters and one brother. Again $1.5 million each and $100K per year. Mother and father-in-law, $3 million in the bank. Will try to do the uncles/aunts/cousins similarly, but her side is not just some average family tree. No, it’s like that freaking Mother Tree in the movie Avatar (another pretty good movie if you’re bored on a Friday night). So I’m budgeting about $2 mill for them, which brings the Hang side total to $11 million. Now down to $60 million.

Friends… can’t forget friends. I have some really good, life-long friends I would definitely hook up. Mortgages would be paid for. I would pay for college educations for some other buddies, pay for cars, credit cards, etc. We will have one awesome poker night that’s for sure. Guesstimating $3 million… down to $57 million.

Churches… I know times are tough and so are tithes so there are few I have in mind. $3 million (accountant buddy should see about tax deductions). Charities… I have a few in mind as well like the homeless, anything with kids, cancer research, make-a-wish, etc. $2 million.

$52 million left.

We’re moving. I love having four seasons, but not 3 months at a time. We’ll either buy a place or build in the Monterrey, CA area. Guessing $5 million will do… trust me I have looked (you gotta have a master plan). Great weather year-round and most importantly great golfing i.e. Pebble Beach. Bam! Down to $47 million. After purchasing toys, installing putting green, Winnebago, furnishing home I’m guessing $2 million total will be spent.

So that leaves $45 million to live off for the rest of our lives. If my financial planner buddy diversifies our money in the right/safe places I am thinking we could easily get 5% overall every year. That’s ultra-conservative and still yields $2.25 million every year. Giving my siblings $900K per year and paying my accountant, financial planner, and lawyer their salaries/services would be about $400K a year. That means I could spend $1 million a year on living expense and never have to touch that $45 million nest egg!!!

So Powerball/MegaMillions will surely climb back up eventually and I’ll surely get my easy picks. And sure mo’ money mo’ problems as they say. So if one of you Dakota County friends of mine won last night, I’ll gladly share in your burden.

back to the future

I wrote this almost 10 years ago. most of it still holds true, but ironically I work at a career-focused school now. By the way, I like to read comments about my blog... good and bad ones.

is it better to be pretty good at everything or exceptional at one thing? i'm perplexed b/c my strength is my weakness. i can talk to you about philosophy and i can throw a baseball very hard. however, you won't see me leading a new age mind of thought or leading a baseball team to the world series.

i'm grateful that i went to a liberal arts college instead of some trade school, but it's like i know a lot about nothing and then these computer nerds that never went to the keggers are making boat loads of money. sup with that? i know, that's why they make you declare a major, but how vague can business management be (which was mine)? the only thing worse would be the diversity major my school offered... 3 minors equaling one major. hello? might as well have declared "undecided" and graduated suma cum dunno.

but it's not just in schooling though. being hmong in america, i've grown up knowing two worlds. the american way and the hmong way. and somewhere inbetween i've incorporated the hmong-american way. i'm not fully one or the other.

wierd, but... i'm not definitively anything. i can't be pigeon-holed i guess. but i can't be an expert either! i'm like an oxymoron or maybe i'm just the moron.

i guess i'll just be exceptional at being pretty good at everything.

Ad man

I majored in business with an emphasis in marketing in college. I thought with my creative ways I could make commercials someday. I never went down that exact road, but from time to time a commercial will come on that will make me think I could have done a way better job than that crap. However there are some amusing ones like the Miller Lite radio ads...

So I decided to make my own. Picture the announcer's voice going with this.

As the dog days of summer come upon us, we at Miller Lite understand you deserve a refreshing beer to kick back with friends and have a grand ol’ time. Cause grand is a lot better than paltry. Ever heard Beethoven’s 5^th played on a paltry piano? It sounds like my nephew going number 2 in his diaper. So your baseball team hit a paltry slam… congrats, here’s a burrito you’ll see more runs that way. While you’re at it, why don’t you take a trip to the Paltry Canyon? The ants tell me it’s majestic this time of year. Nothing compares to the smell of paltry ma-ma’s cookies. Except for her sweaty feet so don’t mistake the lint for chocolate chips, bud.

Getting a ride in your friend’s Paltry Am? Get ready to pee into his radiator. So you went to Paltry Valley State University in Paltry Rapids, Michigan? Guess what? The B.S. in your degree doesn’t stand for Bachelors of Science. Listening to some country music from the Paltry Ole Opry. There’s going to be a tear in your beer because I just kicked in you in the crotch. Waiting for a verdict from the paltry jury? Your guilty of being a loser. We stand by our beer at Miller Lite and when you’re looking for grandiose taste, pop open a refreshing Miller Lite.

I can still dream.

The scenic route

It was a perfect evening to ride my bike last night. It’s something I definitely need to do more often for several reasons. First I need to get my butt back in shape and I really hate running so biking is a great alternative. Plus I have a better chance of outracing a dog if needed and I like cruising down hills.

Secondly it reminds me when I was young. I used to ride my bike everywhere when I was kid. I had a handful of bikes and remember almost all of them because they were the soundtrack of my youth. I remember exactly where I was when I learned to ride a bike. It was a crappy bike that I think my cousins owned and gratefully pawned off to me. I couldn’t tell you what color she was or the brand, but like most things in life I remember all of its flaws.

It had no pedals… well, I should say it had the metal rod piece to place your foot on like a bike peg but no flat pedal to support my entire foot. I would pedal maybe two full revolutions and my feet would roll forward and I would have to keep adjusting by scooting my feet back on the metal rod. I have well-defined calves to this day because of her so I can’t complain (I’ll challenge anyone to a calf-flexing competition).

The pedal thing wasn’t even the worst part of the bike. She didn’t sport rubber tires for wheels. No, she had the black, made-to-look-real, hard plastic wheels. The same material as ones you would see on a kid’s Radio Flyer wagon. I literally felt every freaking crack, bump, rock, etc. so it was more comfortable for my butt to ride standing on the pedal thing. But doing that put so much pressure on my feet standing on two medal rods/pedals. I should have just ran to places come to think of it, but even back then I knew I hated running. Bikes could only go uphill literally and figuratively from that first beauty.

Then the movie “Rad” happened in 1986 and changed all grade school boy’s thinking of bikes. Diamondback and BMX bikes were totally awesome and everyone wanted one. They were a little pricey so I got some knock-off Huffy at Wal-Mart. I remember she was red, had REAL tires, and I would try to do all these tricks like spinning the handle bars, curb indos, your typical wheelies, and of course jumps. A wooded area across the street from our house became an obstacle course for my friends and I. How I never got lyme disease is a mystery with all the hours we spent going back and forth. God placed a perfectly-formed mound about five feet tall at the end of the woods that made a perfect ramp. We would have some epic jumping contests. No one ever attempted any flips, but there were some fantastic crashes. I ran that bike to the ground, but she’ll forever be my favorite.

The third reason I should ride my bike more is how aesthetically pleasing it can be. Normally I jump into my Toyota Highlander and take off on the most direct route passing by homes, parks, stores, etc. without giving a glance. A bike slows everything down. I’m not in a rush to get somewhere or worried about hitting another red light. Don’t have to flip through radio stations to find something interesting. It’s just me and the road and whether I want to go left, right, or straight is the biggest thing to ponder.

Growing up in town of about 10,000 people I knew every street and alley, every short cut, which streets to avoid because of hills, and which homes let the dogs roam free. Riding my mountain bike last night and exploring different neighborhoods near my home was refreshing. As I weaved through streets I was transported back to that Huffy only I had no idea where I was going. I stumbled across neighborhoods and found parks tucked away here and there. I had an idea where I was at all times, and it was fun trying to get back to those familiar roads. But part of me wanted to just keep venturing off and get lost. I would have taken that chance if it wasn’t getting dark.

Life is a lot like that I think. We might have an idea of the right path, but the more you take the path less known, the less it becomes unknown. We’re in such a rush to get on the most direct route that if we ever get lost, we don’t know what to do. We miss all the little things along the way and the details become a blur. We become so focused on the destination that the thrill of the journey becomes a burden. Our lives become charted out like a GPS and we lose our instincts to find our way.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, just slow it down because even if there’s an easier way does not mean it’s better. Take a break if you have to. If it looks interesting, go detour over to it. Don’t forget that dead ends have some cool sights and give you an opportunity see them twice… from a different angle. Take that turn you always wondered about taking and see where it leads. No matter how dark it's going to get, don't worry... you’ll find your way back.

The house always wins.

Tonight is poker night at my house. I hold it atleast once a month and it's always a good time. I usually invite about 10-12 homies and we all know each other from various things. Plus it's a small Hmong world anyway so we can all poke fun of each other at the poker table while trying to catch the river (Chippy, I'm talking about you).

I won pretty big a few months ago and decided to re-invest in poker night. I built my own poker table top. At first I thought I could skimp a little here and there so I got felt from Michaels. Big mistake because the felt started balling up making it hard to slide cards. Lesson learned. Well, after a few months of procrastination, I finally have it right. Professional-grade material (water-proof FTW!), bottle holders installed, and a comfy arm rest bumper (I'll upload picture later). Can't wait for boys to see it.

There are certain unwritten rules with poker night that have become a tradition. As host, I am responsible for the food. This is one of my favorite things about poker night because I get to pick and choose what to make. If I've never made it before, I usually get a few weeks to perfect it.

In the past I've made steaks, brats and burgers, pizza and chicken wings, pho (I can now open my own restaurant called Pho Shizzle), and Philly cheese steaks (they were the bomb) to name a few. Tonight I am conquering hot dogs... I am having corn dogs, chili dogs, and bacon-wrapped dogs. It's going to be hot dog heaven.

Another unwritten rule is the homies bring the drinks. Beer consumption is a staple and now and then my buddy Gui brings the hard stuff. We started a new tradition at the last poker night. On any random hand, the winner not only wins the main pot, but also a side pot of chips donated from a few guys at the table. Great right? Well, there's a shot of whatever to go with it. I think I donated about $20 to that cause, but it's like buying your buddy a few shots at the bar.

Tonight I'm introducing a new tradition:

It reads "Tonight was duty / to answer / the call of booty." The last part has multiple meanings. The obvious one since we're dudes. Also a few of the guys play Call of Duty. Lastly "booty" as in treasure (aaargh, matey!). I'm thinking that everyone puts in $2 at a chance to win this bad boy. The first to win 10 hands on the night will have the right to proudly hold on to this manly cup until the next poker night. Great right? Well, they're going to have to drink whatever we put in there first.

The World Series of Poker may currently be on ESPN, but I tell you what, there's no better table to go "all in" then the one I'll be siting at tonight. And at the end of the night if I win or lose money, I always come out ahead.

But don't think I'm not going to try to keep the cup with me. I'm going to answer the call...

UPDATE!!!

Like I said, the house always wins.

Your calling

I'll ask, "On a scale of 1-10, how important is this to you?"

I usually get 9, 10, or 11.

I'm asking them how important is it for them to go back to school and change their lives so it better be a 9, 10, or 11. That's my job. I work for the Admissions Department at a career-focused college.

I'll talk with prospective students who come here knowing for the most-part what they want to do. They vary from business, vet techs, medical assistants, criminal justice, paralegal, and a several others (contact me if you're looking). Company standard wants the meeting to wrap-up in an hour, but I like to get to know them better and habitually build too much rapport and end up spending about an hour-and-a-half... sometimes two.

I am scratching that itch that motivated them to come in and find out if going to school is the best thing they could do for their career and livelihood. I dig, challenge, consult, console and do such a good job that occasionally I'll get them to cry right infront of me... and it's not always women. I am not mean, berating or even judgemental. Truth is, the realization that they literally can change their future hits them when they talk to me. I'll come out and say what they have been thinking for years. "You're not reaching your potential are you?" That's when the eyes get watery. I am the "expert" they have come to see and when I tell them they're doing the right thing, emotions can come flooding if I've done a good job.

Now this blog has nothing to do with tooting my own horn. If anything, it's putting a plug in it. You may be thinking "what a great job." I get to help people reach their goals and fulfill their true calling. That does make it worthwhile cause I do enjoy helping others. I'm making recommendations and coaching others... I'm helping guide them to their future.

And yet here I am wondering if there's something better for me. I know this isn't what I want to do for the rest of my life. What I need is a taste of my own medicine. Get challenged, consulted, and consoled. I'm like a marriage counselor who has marital problems... a chef without a palate... a dentist with crooked teeth. You get the picture.

I envy people who truly love what they do... those who love getting to work early and don't mind if they leave late. I think we all strive to do something we have a passion for... for me playing 2nd base for the Twins isn't going to happen.

So I borrow a saying when I meet with prospective students, "Love what you are doing and you will never work a day in your life." Unfortunately I do feel like I work everyday... like it's a grind. Maybe we never find our true calling. Maybe we're not all supposed to become professional athletes, models, actors, or astronauts because someone has to pick up my trash. Someone has to call me to donate blood. Someone has to plow the snow. Someone has to serve my food. Maybe I should just be grateful I have a job and can dream bigger. Maybe we just keep striving for the next best thing for ourselves until we grow tired of it and do it all over again. Maybe we'll always think we're not reaching our potential after each goal is conquered.

I know there's more of us out there still searching or going through the motions than there are who have followed their dreams. I see them everyday. My advice is don't be complacent where you are now. There is something better for you. It won't be handed to you and there will be obstacles standing in your way to make it difficult, but you shouldn't have it any other way because if it's too easy, it's not worth it.

So how important is it for me to find my calling?

It's a 12.

blog about blogging

Sadly I'm to the point where I don't know what I want to talk about and it's only my 5th entry. I hope I've done a good job so far. Maybe I should stop worrying about what to blog about and let it happen. Before I started this endeavor I thought about all sorts of things I'd write about. Inevitably I did all this thinking right before I went to bed. You know what that's like? What sounded brilliant while your head is on the pillow sounds idiotic the next morning while you're rinsing out the shampoo in your hair (which half the time I forget if I shampoo'd my hair or not).

I have had many a great movie scripts I was going to write about while I let slumber take over me only to think "Gigli" was a better movie the over a bowl of Frosted Flakes. I've had inventions go from "Shark Tank" worthy to more like toilet bowl worthy as I piss another one away. I've had grand ideas become boring ideas all within a snore session.

But I gotta think there are some really good ideas that happen at night (as long as it doesn't involve taking money out of an ATM). Axl prolly wrote "Sweet Child of Mine" after watching the 10 o'clock news right? Harry Potter had to be after a dark, thunderstorm rolled through. "Inception" was dreamt of at night for sure and "Twilight" - it's in the title! So there have to be some really good ideas that pan out from a late night think session.

I'll just let it flow. This will be my personal, unscripted blog battle and someday there will be a loosely-based-on-actual-events movie about me struggling in the 'burbs with 3 kids and a baby mama who likes to gamble our fortune at bingo night. I'm blogging away on my rickety laptop missing half the keys as the city bus takes me to my 3M factory job where I become addicted to the smell of tape. I have run-ins with my racist neighbor named Walt who countless times yells at my kids to stay off his lawn. I befriend him by bringing over some eggrolls and show him my blog. He likes them both and tells me "You're not like other asian fellas." I accept his back-handed compliment. Sadly the next day he chokes on a leftover eggroll and dies, but not after he changes his will and bequeaths me his favorite car... a Grand Am. I write a song about the events that transpire...

His palms are sweaty, all week his minds been heavy
There's comments 'bout his blog already, his dotcom's so cleverly
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop blogs,
but he keeps on forgettin what he jot down,
the whole internet goes so loud
He opens his lap top, but the words won't come out
He's bloggin' how, everyone's doggin' him now
The thoughts run out, wi-fi's over, bloah!
Snap back to the twin cities, Oh there goes longevity
Oh, there goes Walt, he choked
He's so dead, but he won't give up that
Easy, eggroll
He shouldn't have eaten it, he knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's toast
He knows that, but he'll post
like he's at his own roast
When he goes back to his residential home, that's when it's
Back to the Queen again yo
Bohemian Rhapsody
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him


[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blog
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
(You better)


No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Swearing off these apps like Angry Birds caged
I was playing in the beginning, the levels all changed
they've been blown up and slingshot and flew off stage
But I kept trying and resettin' the next flyer
Best believe I'll get one star higher
All the pain inside subsides when I pass
the next level, my son and I high-five
And I can't decide the right type of flight for my birds
Cause man, this game would be awesome with bats and snipers
But it's no Batman movie, there's no Michelle Pfieffer, this is my life
And these games are so hard, and it's getting even harder
Trying to clean up my touch screen, plus
Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a premier blogger
kids screaming on and on
Too hard for me to comment
Stay in hot spots, another night of playing
Has gotten me to the point, I've grown stale
I've got to formulate a thought, another mixed pale ale and shot
Success is my only freaking option, failure's not
Fingers fail me not this may be the only opportunity that I got

[Hook:]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blog
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
(You better)

Still looking for a movie title.

Moral of the story is "never blog at night."

Being a parent

is the coolest thing in the world. If you can't have kids, choose not to have them, or just haven't yet, living for someone else who relies completely on you can be daunting... but so worth it. I thought I had a pretty good existence before kids came into the picture, but not until my oldest, Jake, showed up, I didn't realize how awesome life can be.

I have always wanted kids so it wasn't a big ordeal when it happened even if it wasn't quite planned. And like some of you who are childless often hear from parents, "It's the best thing ever, blah, blah"... I was in the same boat at one time thinking, "Yeah, yeah, great."

Well, it is.

I had lived for myself for so long that I never imagined what it would be like living for someone else. The nine months during pregnancy cannot prepare you for the lifetime you will have with them. Your priorities change the instant you hear him start crying. Trust me, that moment hits you like a ton of bricks. With each child that load lessens and the shock and awe tilts more towards awe. You simply pray that you have a healthy child.

We have three boys, but I will always consider myself a first-time parent. I'm always going to be surprised and wondering if I'm doing this right. There is no manual on how to do this. No book for dummies on parenting is going to help. This is OJT (on the job training). But the greatest thing about being a parent is that it comes natural. And if you ever wonder what kind of a person you are, you'll see your reflection in each of your kids. They just won't look like you... they'll act like you... they'll talk like you... they'll laugh like you... so if you give them your best, they'll take the best from you.

Now some people really shouldn't have kids for that very reason. Unfortunately there's too many that do. And I don't want to make it seem like parenting is easy... it's the hardest job in the world. It is your choice especially now-a-days with adoption and other ways to have kids (I have strong, athletic swimmers if you're wondering). But believe me and other parents can attest to this too, you start life when you give life.

I'm not the greatest parent in the world and I know I make mistakes. I know that I could do more. But if I ever had to give up my life to save one of them, I would smile knowing that if they had to, they would do the same for theirs.

Regret

The old cliche is that "hindsight is 20/20." I wish I knew what that meant 10 years ago (padung chee (sound of drum and cymbal to signal a punchline and possible asian name)).

So do you ever look back at your version 1.0 self and think, "What the hell was up with me?" Look at a picture with the crazy hairstyle and funky clothes and wonder, "Why?" And that was like 2 years ago. Now I'm pretty laid-back, but I'm a harsh critic of my younger me. The funny thing is I could right now look back at the 29 year-old Pete (yeah, I just spoke in the third-person) and see the error in my ways. What makes it funny is that the 29 year-old me was looking at the 24 year-old me and doing the same.

So it makes me wonder what the hell am I doing wrong now? What if foresight was 20/20 and the 39 (gasp) year-old Pete could look at me now. What would I think of myself? Maybe I do need a new hairstyle, but I'm not parting it down the middle again (damn you Dawson's Creek!). I'm sure he'd say I need to get back in shape. He'd say I need to save more and spend less. He'd say I need to start doing and stop procastinating. Man, I'm going to be really wise in five years.

So regret... I am a proponent of the theory that you only regret the things you didn't do... to some extent. Honestly, you only have regrets if you're not currently happy. Sure it's easy to look back at situations like relationships and speculate how your life would be different if you made different choices. What if I took that job or transferred to another college? Why didn't I think of Google?

Some things we have control over that decides our fate. No, fate's a bad word (could've just deleted it but I like the dramatic effect). The better word would be happiness. Fate makes it seem like you have no control over your happiness, but honestly your attitude is the only thing you have control of in life.

These things or decisions we make that shape our happiness guide us... or atleast it should. If you spend your time and energy sulking over all of your missed opportunities, you might not notice three awesome boys you have or the loving wife who lets you host poker night once a month (by the way, 50/50 that it's going to be this Friday).

So whatever crossroads we find ourselves in... whatever major decisions we have before us... decide whether it will make you happier and you won't have any regrets. I think I'm wiser right now, without more white hairs.

Facebook status update

I was late to the Facebook party because I never thought it would be interesting. The wife was the same way, but now we're constantly on there. I'm afraid to even start a twitter account b/c I might be that guy letting everyone know that I'm currently taking a crap (which I'm not right now, but thought about it).

So it got me thinking if Facebook had been around (and technology was in place for it) since forever, what would people would be updating. I imagine it would go like this...

Adam is in a relationship with Eve.
Adam
needs to go see a doctor. My ribs hurt.
Eve likes this.

JFK has checked into Dallas International Airport.
JFK
Jackie wants the top down. Happy wife, happy life.

Christopher Columbus
Can't believe it's 1492 already. Got my bags packed and ready to check out the edge of the world!

John "The Baptist" > Jesus
Happy birthday bro. Sorry about dunking you in the water the other day.
     3Wisemen Things are tight this year so hopefully you still have some of that Frankincense. Peace.
     Peter Dude, you're so popular. Happy b-day. Oh, and you need to teach me that walk on water trick.

A.Hitler likes the game Risk.

Lou Gehrig
Big speech today. Not sure if I should say "Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth." What do you think... too much? I'll just wing it.

Abe Lincoln
Martha wants to go watch a play tonight. Happy wife, happy life.
J.W.Booth likes this.

Shakespeare
Just wrote another romantic tragedy... tentatively calling it Ronny and Jaqueeta.

Michealangelo just checked into the Sistine Chapel.
Michealangelo
I hate my job... it's like watching paint dry.

Eve
craving apples!
     God Eat something else woman! You've got a whole garden.
     Adam I told you she never listens to me.
     God Happy wife, happy life.

Elvis Presley
is taking a crap right now. Something feels jffwefav23ava#^&4

Change

What's great about Facebook is catching up with people from my past. Some still live in the small town I grew up in while others are making their mark around the world. Some who were too hungover to go to church during college have finally found God. Some who were immature are raising families.

Can we change?

To some extent, but maybe we just make better decisions as we get older. I am still sarcastic now as when I was teenager a lifetime ago. I still love sports and competing. For the most part, I am still who I always was and will be.

I'm bringing up "change" because I think it's something we keep telling ourselves we need to do. Maybe we can physically change by working out and eating better. Maybe we can change habits and the things we do that are harmful to us and others. Maybe we can work on our communication skills. But can we really change who we are? I don't think so.

What we can do is evolve. We learn from our mistakes, but I don't think we can necessarily fix our faults. As I get older I know more about myself and my limitations. I don't want to make it seem like I use that as an excuse not to better myself, but it's easier to know where you're going when you know where you are.

I do believe that life events like getting married and having kids can affect you. But I'm not confident in saying it changes you. How you were before these events is how you will react after them. For example, having kids doesn't make you softer. It means you were a softy to begin with and your kids fleshed that out. If you were an S.O.B. before kids, guess what, you're going to treat your kids like crap. If you have trust issues before marriage, having the greatest spouse will not completely alleviate those mixed feelings.

I have noticed that the more I accept myself for who I am, the better I can tolerate others. I realize I have flaws and understand we all have our quirks. So no matter how much we want people in our lives to change... no matter how many ultimatums, threats, promises we can pose to them, the truth is they're not going to change. If you can accept them despite their flaws, than your relationship with them can begin to evolve.

So if you're introverted and think your life would be better if you were more extroverted, I have news for you. It's not. Why put yourself in awkward situations only to make yourself feel worse. You don't see a Geo Metro hauling a trailer cause it's not supposed to. Stay who you are... it's the other people around you that need to accept your high gas mileage and constantly being in their blind spot.

So what about the jackasses out there? I hate to say it, but their jackassedness will always be there. Maybe they can evolve and be less of a jackass. I understand that you'll alway have your jackass ways. But chances are I didn't accept your friend request.

Hello, my name is...

Pete.

I'm a thirty-something father and husband. I used to blog quite a bit but then life happened. So why am I blogging now? I have a promise I mean to keep.

I think we all have a need to get things off our chest. There is something therapeutic about confiding and sharing our insights. I have learned over time that we're all pretty much wired the same, have the same experiences, fears, and dreams. If I can connect with you, than that will be therapy for me. I'll be talking about family, marriage, faith, work, music, movies/tv, sports, everyday things. If you want the really juicy stuff you'll have to "friend me" (don't know the blogging term).

So, again, why blog? This is an open diary, and I don't know why but it is sometimes easier to anonymously put it out there even when it's not anonymous. Things we wouldn't tell our best friend, close sibling, significant other, for some reason we can dump on the internet for millions (don't think I'll get that popular) to peruse.

Now I've been married for seven years and having a relationship with "completely" open communication is a pipe dream. Yes, I know it's an area I need to work on (I'll explain for a later blog), but there are some things we muddle through on our own. I accept that my wife has her own internal discussions, and I believe we all have our own inner thoughts that rarely sees the light of day. Not all of them are earth shattering revelations. I'm not talking about deep, dark secrets or anything. Just insights.

I told you that I used to blog. Well, I think this entry I wrote (my last one) over six years ago sums it up...

my last entry gave some insight as to why i don't write as much. i'm gonna switch gears and focus on why i do write.

i just need to be inspired and that could be anything.

simply going through and reading some of my past entries is inspiring. seeing how my relationship with etep has grown through entries. laughing at myself in other ones. i never had a journal so it's eye-opening to see the changes in myself... sorta like the development of the main character in a book.

i'm sure lots of things inspire me. little things like my son smiling to something at work. i just have to be more diligent and put it down in writing so i don't forget.

so i will be more inspired. i promise.

Couldn't have said it better myself... actually I did.